I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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