I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
