I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
