he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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