why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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