I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
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