Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
