I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize