i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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