I think im going to throw up on grandma
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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