He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
