Umm I'm too high to move.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Randomize
