He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
