I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
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