I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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