Porn is love you can see.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Randomize