Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
me + whiskey = a bad person
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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