btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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