Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
