I think I died a long time ago.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
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