ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
