I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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