I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
