I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
