Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
