im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
