By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
