Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize