The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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