hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize