I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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