I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
