Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
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