Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
