I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
