I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
