I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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