I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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