We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
