This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
