roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
FUCK WHALES
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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