I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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