So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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