May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Randomize
