True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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