This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I love you.
Bad choice
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
