u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize