Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
