Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
