the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
hell yes lets make some ravioli
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
You took a bar mat shot.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
