omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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