Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Randomize
