I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize