hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
