So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
