I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
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