So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
