I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
