Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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