Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
