lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize