I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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