is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Randomize
