I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
