Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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