He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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