Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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