i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
