I need help removing her.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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